But it's not always easy and I have many days,
weeks, and months where I feel so frustrated with being single and so
ready for this waiting period of my life to be over. I'm tired of being
the single girl in the group, tired of not having anything to add when
my friends complain about husbands and marriage and raising kids. It
gets lonely and there are times when I wonder if I'll ever be the girl
to wear a white dress, walk down an aisle, and say "I do."
I'm not naive to the pressures of marriage. I know
the divorce rate. I hear the complaints. I know it's not roses and
butterflies all the time. Marriage is hard work and requires a lot of
compromise and dedication to your partner. You have to grow as your
partner grows, grow into new seasons of your marriage and have the
ability to change as it changes.
But you get to be with the love of your life. Your person.
Your best friend, the one you're meant to be with, your soulmate. You
get to wake up next to them and have adventures with them and watch them
grow into a person you love more and more each day. Marriage is an
incredible thing that we get to experience. It's worth all the hard
work.
As a single girl, marriage seems like this
unattainable state. I want it. Some days, I even crave it. But it feels
like that part of my life is so far away that it's hard to imagine
myself as a wife.
One of my ways of coping with being single, especially during the harder moments, is writing letters to my future husband.
I began doing this three years ago as a way of writing down all my
fears, desires, and needs at the moment. I wanted to have a record of my
thoughts during my season of waiting. I wanted to have these letters
that I wrote to my husband when I had no clue who he was. I'm not
consistent in how I write or when I write... just whenever my spirit
moves me to do so. Sometimes, the letters are bursting with hope and
life and happiness. And sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, they are
dark and moody and filled with raw honesty of my heart at some moment in
time. These letters are as much for me as they are for him. They are to
remind me of the man I will give these letters to. They are to remind
me that God would not place this desire if He didn't intend to see it
through to completion.
Right now, I know I am meant to be in this stage of my life. The waiting period,
as we're so apt to declare it. Being single has its benefits. It's a
time when I can focus just on me - on my desires and needs and wants. I
can grow by myself, without having to worry about leaving anyone behind.
I am free to follow my heart wherever it may take me. I can be
unabashedly selfish with my time and put all my attention on me. As a
single girl, I am choosing to honor myself and my values by being true
to my beliefs and not falling for the first guy who shows me any kind of
attention. It means being picky about who I spend my time with and what
dates to go on. It means finding my truth, honing my strengths, and
learning to love me as me.
It can be hard to be single, especially as it seems
like I'm not following the path I should be on. With friends all around
me getting married and having babies (my best friend from high school is
already a married mother of two!), I can feel so far behind the curve. I
lose friends because we're in different seasons of our life and as year
by year goes by with no interesting prospects, it can make me wonder if
there is something wrong with me. If I'm not doing enough or being
enough for the perfect guy to fall in love with me.
But here is the truth of this life we live. We are meant to be where we are right now.
I am meant to be single. There is a reason God has called me to a time
of waiting. Perhaps I'm just not ready to be a wife just yet. I still
have growing to do. It was never my path to get married at a young age. I
always had a feeling I would be an older bride, but that's okay. There
is nothing wrong with singlehood. There is nothing wrong with being
alone and taking my time with this dating thing.
In essence, we are all in the place God wants us to
be. There are times when He will push us to do more and spread out to
new beginnings and changes in our lives, but He's always there guiding
us. God is always there, guiding us, helping us, and showing us that
when we follow in His footsteps, we are on the best path we could ever
hope to be on.
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One of my absolute favorite segments across the entire blog-world is Stephany's letters to her future husband and once I heard that she set a goal for herself to guest blog 50 times in 2013, I jumped at the chance for her to share her story with my readers here! Thank you so very much Stephany for sharing about your prospective and life with us. I'm certainly cheering you on in this waiting period.
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| You can find Stephany's blog here: Stephany Writes |
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